John Francis

“Mom… Mom! Stop! Please, just stop. I need to get away for a while.” Amanda’s voice held weariness from listening to her mother tell her to come home.

She was at the airport, waiting to board, her flight leaving in less than thirty minutes. She’d waited until close to boarding to make the call to her mother. She couldn’t just leave without a word, especially as she’d sent the luggage she wasn’t taking to London. Her mother deserved an explanation - at least a few words about why Amanda wouldn’t be coming home.

“Mom, I just can’t come back right now. I need some time. I need to think…”

She heard a heavy sigh as her mother bit back the words she wanted to say.

“Okay, honey - just…” Another deep breath. “Take care of yourself.”

Her throat tight, Amanda got out the necessary words to end the call. She was grateful for her mother’s concern, but she didn’t want to talk anymore. She didn’t want to put into words what she had lost or how she would live without it.

She never wanted to hear Jon’s name again.

She tried to shut off the little voice that whispered over and over again…

Liar.

~~~

“What do you mean, she’s checked out?” Jon said, his voice dropping to a growl.

“I’m sorry, Sir, Mrs. Matthews checked out earlier this morning.”

Jon glanced at his watch - 9:30. Where could she have gone already? He hadn’t planned on calling the hotel, hadn’t planned on speaking to her, but Richie’s words wouldn’t leave his aching head.

“You are such a prick. Good luck finding her when you change your mind.”

He wasn’t changing his mind, but dammit - he hadn’t asked the questions he wanted answers to. Hadn’t asked her how she could throw everything away. How she could throw him away, what they had.

He’d thought he might go back to the hotel. Confront her. Make her tell him what he wanted to know most - why she had done it.

Now what the hell was he going to do?

~~~

Jesus Christ - what was she going to do?

Richie and Trish had been seeing each other for a little over seven weeks. Their trip for her to meet Ava had been a success and she had enjoyed her time in California. It had been only that morning he’d told her he loved her and she had been overjoyed to hear it and to give voice to her own feelings.

Her job was finally finished and she was unemployed for the first time in her life, traveling with Richie, spending all her free time with him, meeting the rest of his band mates and their easy acceptance of her. She and Amanda had become good friends.

Her life had been so hectic that it wasn’t until her period was due for the second time that she had found herself a little concerned. Not much though, she and Richie were careful and she figured the first missed period was just due to the changes in her life and the accompanying stresses. Throwing up for the past week had her considering a stomach virus, a rather mysterious one that seemed to disappear after each morning was over.

Yesterday she had been at a drugstore, picking up a few items, and when she was checking out she was surprised to see she had bought three pregnancy tests. This morning she had woken early, her bladder full, and grabbing one of the kits, she’d urinated on the enclosed stick. A few minutes later the word “PREGNANT” had shown on the little window.

The second test formed a “plus” sign - a symbol she found ridiculously ironic considering she did not think being pregnant at this time was any kind of plus.

The third test just turned blue – blue for her mood, blue for her feelings, and blue for bloody PREGNANT.

How could she be pregnant? They’d never slipped…

And then she remembered in a flash of memory so strong she felt her body flush. Florida. Amanda’s birthday. The shower.

Oh dear God.

That one time. Just once. And now - this.

Her next bout of nausea wasn’t entirely because of morning sickness.

~~~

Jon stood in the living room of his large Red Bank home, his mind wandering from one thought to the next, unsure as to what he should do or where he should go.

It was very unlike him and a frown curled his lips. The silence of the house seemed to have weight to it as he turned first in one direction and then the other. With a burst of irritation, he strode in the direction of his office, sure he would figure out who to call when he got there. He sat down hard on the chair behind his desk, a whump arising as the soft cushion of the seat absorbed his anger.

The airport. He could call the air…shit, they wouldn’t tell him dick.

Jesus, ya pussy, you know who to call.

Jon’s face scrunched as he scowled at himself. He pushed the 2 on his phone and pursed his lips at still having her cell number on speed dial.

He took a deep breath and listened to the first ring.

~~~

Amanda’s eyes unconsciously rose to the speakers in the ceiling as she heard a voice call her row on the plane. With a sigh, she gathered her carry on and her purse, shrugging the latter over her shoulder. She glanced sympathetically at the mother ahead of her, a crying infant in her arms. The child, little more than a few months old, wailed piercingly in her mother’s arms.

She never heard the phone in her bag ring.

~~~

In his home, Jon listened as the rings turned into Amanda’s voice asking callers to leave a message. His eyes closed as he pressed the disconnect button. He’d missed her … or she wasn’t answering. Something told him that it was his first guess, she was already on a plane headed for … Florida? Antartica? Katmandu? How could he find out where she would go?

It dawned on him then and he scrambled to find the number he’d casually tossed on his desk weeks ago. Dialing with a slightly shaking hand, he waited for her to answer. His breath catching in his throat as he heard the familiar voice.

“Hello?”

“Susan? It’s Jon.”

“Jon?”

“Yeah, Jon Bongiovi.”

“What do you want, Jon?”

“I…”

“No.”

“Wh…what?”

“No.”

“Susan, please…listen…”

“No.”

“But…”

He stopped at the sudden silence of the ended call.

“Fuck!”

He really didn’t want to call Amanda’s mother.